Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize
