is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
