Im at strip club and am horny
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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