watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
being pregnant is like rehab
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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