love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
