yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
