I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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