i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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