Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
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Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
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You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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