i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize