Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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