Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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