I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
