More tranny stories later!
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
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he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
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I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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