Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
