Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
