honey bunches of taint.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
