So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
