its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
