I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
