Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Houston, we have a blender
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
