Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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