let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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