when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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