Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
