fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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