Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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