is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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