i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You've changed since you got that strap on
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
