Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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