Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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