No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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