shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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