well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
