yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i think i have herpe
just one?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
