so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize