are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
This is my gift to your gina
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize