how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
