What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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