I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
