she takes plan B like it's going out of style
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
