May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
