All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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