Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
