If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
