i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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