Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
BRING THE BAGELS
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
