i jhust puked up my retainher.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
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Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
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Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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