you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
did you just send me my own nude
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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