I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I am one with the molecules
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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