I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
