sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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