Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
