U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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