school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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