How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Randomize
