I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
