I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
The adults are the big ones right?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
