i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
