so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
