That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
