this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
