Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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