Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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